After accidentally watching Gaga by Gaultier, a documentary about Lady Gaga’s rise to fame with Jean Paul Gaultier asking campish, staged, sucky-up questions to a subdued yet immaculate Gaga, I realised something frightening: I don’t hate Lady Gaga. I don’t get her either.

A while back when I was bored on twitter I noticed a whole bunch of losers tweeting about how she was off on some tour and they hoped she’d have a safe flight. I tweeted how awesome it would be if her plane crashed and then I wouldn’t have to read idiotic tweets from losers. And I got a hate tweet from some die hard fan! It was kind of scary cool.

See, I’ve always considered Gaga a perfect example of why the mainstream audience is so clueless. Yeah okay so she does some funky stuff with style; she pushes style boundaries even. And yeah, the woman (yes she’s just a regular chick with a regular vagina, the whole hermaphrodite thing was an accidental yet profitable publicity stunt) can sing. But her music? Sucks balls. I know people will say it’s a matter of taste and the kind of people who listen to Gaga would also listen to Mariah Carey or Aqua or Delta Goodrem or that stupid crazy frog song from sometime in the late 90s. I agree, it IS a matter of taste: bad taste. There’s a difference between varying tastes and basic good versus bad. Personally I don’t listen to The Rolling Stones or Bob Dylan but I wouldn’t deny that both have made a significant impact on music and are amazing artists. But Mariah Carey? Okay so sometimes when any singing will chill my son out and for some bizarre reason Hero is dominating my brain, I belt it out ala Mariah. But I would be glad to live in a world where we were never subjected to any of her three impossible octaves; even All I Want For Christmas which, I’ll admit, became slightly appealing after I’d seen Love Actually for the eighth time.

But despite all that, I sat watching Jean Paul in his crazy little nautical shirt with its external shoulder pads perched like some 70s sci-fi starship outfit gone wrong, and I started to be drawn in. It shat me to tears how much crapping on there was about Gaga and the gays (I mean seriously, of course she is a gay icon, if by gay you mean men who like to remind everyone how gay they are every second minute while reminding you that all gay men are stereotypes without brains or taste). And I still think her music is an utter pile of poo. It’s unoriginal and catchy at best. But I realised she is clever, articulate and well-read. She’s also ridiculously creative. And she can sing. Her image? That’s her creation, her art. And I’m not walking about the outfits or hairstyles or makeup. That stuff is really just the media. As in what she has used to create. What I’m talking about is her very persona, all of those superficial things along with personality and catch phrases. It made me think of Boy George, as I recently caught the program about his rise to fame, Worried About The Boy. George O’Dowd had nothing but what he created. The whole image. He was no Gaga of course but he did the same thing, became known for his image, his art. I guess the big difference for George was that his upbringing was pretty fucked and he didn’t really feel worthy or ambitious. Gaga has always known she’d be famous. She probably felt frustrated that it didn’t happen sooner. In a way it’s as though she was born knowing fame was her destiny and it was just a matter of time. She must have been an intense and frustrating baby.

So in conclusion, while I’ll never be even remotely interested in listening to her music, and while I don’t particularly enjoy her art, I will give Gaga this: she is a creative force! Her fame is infuriating in the way that so many idiots love her and jump on the bandwagon. But I guess without those people without taste and class, she wouldn’t have made the impact she has. She appeals to a very broad spectrum of people and although I’m sure she loves that, it’s not something she can really control to an extent. Yes of course fame can be bought and the public can be manipulated but Gaga is on another level. That kind of fame is due to her brilliance as an artist. So kudos to you Gaga, I don’t like your music and your art isn’t my cup of tea, but that’s by the by because you really have done something amazing with your life. Respect.