It's happening for real: we're going back to Canada. This time feels a little more final. I think that's because it's for longer and we are unlikely to return unless there's some problem with visas or finances.
We agonised over this, it was incredibly painful making the decision to go because we're not getting any younger and we really just want to settle somewhere. Something about staying in Australia just feels like a mistake, like we're selling ourselves short. It's definitely the easy way out, to stay. We'd always be relatively comfortable money-wise. Maybe I'd do a library and archiving course and settle into some comfortable job with books. The kids would go to school and we'd just keep going, enjoying just being together and growing up as a family. We'd get a dog. Buy a house on a big block and put a trampoline and a cubby house out the back. Crank up the air con at Christmas and have a roast. Pay a fortune for a weekend at the snow in July. Buy a shiny new Subaru and go on road trips to the central coast to see our best friends in the whole world. We'd have a very different life from what we'll have in Canada. But I think going is the right choice, as hard as it will be financially.
Last night I had my doubts. I suddenly felt really vulnerable. The Dude had his first dental checkup in four years yesterday and he has a myriad of tooth decay, it's terrifying! Thumper also has some decay I think but I've booked her to get checked before we go. The dental work is free here. Not so in Canada. That's scary.
It's going to be okay. This is right. Our kids will be glad we did this. We'll be glad too. It's going to be just fine. And breathe.