The cloud of doubt has drifted away

We are going to Canada. Definitely. At 29 days til takeoff, I am finally, just now, not having doubts. Only 29 days. Up until just a few days ago I was still not quite convinced that this is what we should be doing, despite doing what I can to get the wheels in motion. The path to the top of this hill has been long and full of obstacles that I allowed to sit there threatening me, but now I can say that I am at the top of the hill and slowly letting the brakes off to coast (and eventually hurtle almost out of control) down the other side.
So what changed? Certainly not this. This was here.

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It may have just been a combination of things, selling some of our stuff and telling people what was happening. Plus I think finding a few rentals over there that look nice and that may actually be available to us, as we’d previously been shocked to note that the law, in Ontario at least, favours tenants which means landlords require very stringent checks before they’ll let you rent something.
I’ve been putting myself out there for months now, really since we sat in a noisy play centre over a year ago now and agreed we really did need to do this, at least try. If you don’t try, you’ll always wonder, we said. What if we had tried to live elsewhere? What if? Maybe we’ve missed out, sold ourselves short, lived small, compromised, settled. No, we must at least give it a go.

Settling. Now there’s a thing. We want to settle, oh how desperately we want to settle. We’ve wanted to settle from the beginning, for years now. It’s funny how things work out because, really, if settling down had been the priority we’d have done it wherever we were. But it was more than just finding a niche; it’s finding our niche that matters.

“I suspect you may be slightly crazy,” said my dad, when he first heard of our plan. And I know I inherited my craziness from my family who also weren’t able to settle in one place. My mum tried various diplomatic methods of talking us out of it initially, trying to bring home the realities of living somewhere ‘cold’, even though that’s one of the most attractive elements of coming to Canada. And then she attempted to showcase Australia’s good points, many of which do nothing for us (the hot weather and beaches are top of that list). I think Mr Chewbacca’s family are just happier to have us a bit closer in distance and time. There certainly haven’t been any complaints about our plan thus far from the UK contingent.

I feel good about this now, not to be just going with what I already have. I am always about getting the absolute best, not compromising, and I think what’s best for someone else isn’t necessarily for me.

This is a rather rambling post so I’ll stop. I am falling asleep.

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Author: curiosikat

Writer, editor, linguist, social historian...

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