Another one of my ranty rants, just pre-warning anyone reading…
Do you ever post something on a social media site in all innocence and then someone comments, completely slamming you down and taking offence? I just did that and it’s making my tummy do somersaults. That horrible, gut-wrenching feeling, I just can’t.shake it! I don’t agree with the response, I don’t understand why what I posted was so offensive and ignorant, and I replied to explain my thinking, but that doesn’t change how I’m feeling about being slammed. Social media is just so icky sometimes, so cringe-worthy.
I care if my friends get pissed off with something I say, it churns me up. I have a few friends, or perhaps more accurate to describe them as social media connections, whose opinions I don’t really rate, or I guess don’t really respect. But the majority of friends I’m connected with online are intelligent, interesting people whose ideas and opinions, while they may differ from mine, I really respect. Even people I don’t really have much to do with both in reality and online. So when one of them objects to something I love, and provides a good argument for the objection, it just kills me. How do you respond to that so you feel okay? I’m just too frigging sensitive. And too opinionated to boot!
The problem is that people are always going to have different viewpoints and interpretations, and people make mistakes too, say the wrong thing in the wrong way at the wrong time. Shit happens. But I just hate the fact that once it’s done, it’s done, and you can’t go back. Oh I hate it! Makes me never want to say anything ever again! But how can I? I’ve got to talk, got to write.
I’ve read a fair bit about bloggers and getting shit for saying stuff people object to. In fact those kinds of posts usually attract the most readers because controversy is interesting. Look at that English chick who wrote that Daily Mail article recently where she was banging on about how hard it is to be an attractive woman and how much other women are intimidated, bla bla bla. Everyone jumped on that straight away to tell her, um, excuse me lady but you’re nothing special, get over yourself! She might have seemed like a total dick, but she got people talking and now she’s on frigging TV crapping on about her hardships as a result of the backlash to that article! See? She might be a bit of an idiot but she is pretty thick-skinned to deal with the huge berating she got. And let’s face it, the whole thing was most likely a massive publicity stunt (success there!). But regardless of whether it was or not, even if she knew full well everyone was going to laugh at her and call her ugly, she still has to deal with that. She may have craploads of publicists telling her it’s all good and partying it up with her over the success of the campaign and her new-found fame; but at some point, she will read or hear something about what people think, a put-down or a joke, and when she climbs into her king-size bed in some exclusive hotel after a day of champagne and shopping, she’s going to have to deal with that. She’s going to think, crap, people think I’m ugly and stupid. And the money and fame just don’t fix that emotional response. Because everyone is human. And humans feel.
I guess I’m probably selfish or self-obsessed to say this but I sometimes feel as though that human, emotional response just sticks with me so much more intensely than it does for others, cuts me so deeply, and I can’t just process a confrontation and move on. I dwell more than others. Or at least because I’m having the reaction, it feels like I do. It’s all just perception in the end really.
But you know the worst part? I can be really harsh. I often have no regard for how others might be feeling and I can cut someone down so harshly if I’m really riled by what they say. So on the one hand I want others to go easy on me because I’m so frigging sensitive, but on the other I disregard people’s feelings on a regular basis. Damn you, humanity, why do you have to be such a contradiction? Stop the world, I want to get off!